JULY #MAMACRUSH: ZARA
June, 30 2018
Lots of women imagine their future when they're little girls, right down to how many kids they'll have, their gender, their names and their age differences. But as get older we know: things don't always go exactly as planned. Meet Zara; a British-born, NYC-living Mama to two amazing school-aged kids aged 6 & 7. She has a career, kids who no longer require wipes and just as things are getting "easier", she's about to start her baby days over with a third due in a few months.
Whether you have one child or six, it's not unusual to hear that little voice inside of you questioning whether you want "another". And For Zara, after years since her last diaper, that voice just didn't go away. So how do you know when it's right? Read her interview and perhaps you'll feel inspired.
Where are you from?
Where do you currently live?
How many kids do you already have and how old are they?
2: Zubaida age 7 & Sulaiman age 6.
Tell us a little about each one.
Zubaida is a quietly confident and very empathetic young girl. She’s a great older sister and it’s in her nature to take people under her wing.
Sulaiman loves being the adorable baby of the family (for now at least). He’s got his puppy dog eyes down. In the comfort of his own home, his inner diva comes out, which is brilliant.
Any other babies on the way?
Yes! One cooking as we speak.
What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
The mind blowing capacity for love and awe of these small but mighty beings. The total breathtaking humbleness you feel and sacrifice you make without hesitation, despite the often unnoticed daily grind and never ending exhaustion. The courage, commitment and strength it takes to raise children is pretty awesome and empowering as well. And the shared experience and empathy you have with other mothers, both friends and strangers alike.
Did you choose to have a longer gap between your second (and now) third child?
Not deliberately. We always wanted three kids, this third one just took a little longer to get there. Probably Mother Nature saying “easy girl, take a break and prepare yourself for the chaos!”
It’s no secret some moms look forward to being out of the diapers and stroller phase for good. Why did it make sense for you to start over at this time?
In my head I thought “This is madness, you’ve got it so good now, everyone can feed themselves, dress themselves and wipe their own backsides.” But in my heart I always wanted another baby. Same for my husband, so we went for it.
Was it a difficult decision to make? How did you know this was right for you?
Not a difficult decision to make. We just went for it and had fun trying.
What do you think are some of the benefits of having a larger age gap between your kids?
Firstly, the kids are old enough to have a good grasp of what’s going on. They are on The Bump app every week checking the size of the baby. They are making a list of all the things the baby needs. They are a short list of names. They are really into this pregnancy! They remind me how i was first time around, it’s very sweet.
Secondly, they are really caring about me and taking care of me (and the baby). They help carry the shopping, they understand if I need to rest or take a nap, they remind me to eat healthy and drink lots of water. My daughter would even take care of me when I had morning sickness in the first trimester.
Lastly, I’m really banking on them helping out when the baby comes. They are old enough to be trusted keeping an eye on the baby when I shower etc. This will be a lifesaver! They are also very independent, they can dress themselves, brush their own teeth, get themselves breakfast/snack if they are hungry. They are also in school and after school for a large chunk of the day, allowing me some time with the baby and hopefully also some nap time. My first two kids were 19 months apart so it was really like having two babies.
Do you anticipate anything being particularly challenging?
Regressing back to sleepless nights and constant breastfeeding now that we have enjoyed a solid night sleep for years. Also for me, not having my family around for support, as they all live in UK. Slightly nervous about the short US maternity leave, in comparison to the UK when I had a year with both kids. But we’ll get through it all, no doubt!
Do you feel any different this time around when you think about the arrival of baby? Are you more confident? Less confident?
When it comes to the actual arrival of the baby, definitely more confident - I know what to expect in terms of delivery and those first few weeks and months. It’s my pregnancy where I am actually a little more cautious, just because I am 8 years older than when i had my first, which puts me in a higher risk bracket.
Let’s talk breastfeeding. Can you tell us a little bit about your nursing journey(s) with your first two?
With Zubaida I nursed and pumped religiously for the first six months.
With Sulaiman I kept it up for about 8 weeks until it just stopped working for me and him.
Importantly, I didn’t beat myself up for this.
What are your breastfeeding hopes (if you’ve thought of this) this time around?
Go for as long as I can, without feeling guilty for any choices I make.
Will you do anything differently?
I will probably pump again, which I didn’t do with Sulaiman (due to pure exhaustion) to keep my milk supply up.
And feel great, wearing some super stylish nursing clothes by Allette of course ;-)
You’re a hot Mama, tell us a little about your style? How important is fashion to you and how would you describe your style?
My personal sense of style and fashion is extremely important to me. My style makes me feel outwardly confident, even if I’m not always feeling it on the inside. I think I mix my London and New York styles together and it works for me. I like stylish clothes with a point of view, but they have to be comfortable to wear as well.
What are your wardrobe staples?
Luxe casual pants and a well cut t shirt.
What is the one piece of advice you give all new moms? Any top Mama hacks to share?
Everything is just a phase, so just go with the flow, knowing this too will pass - you will sleep again, I promise!
Thanks, Zara! All this is a lot to ponder...!